It is always interesting to me when someone emails the technical list, asking for guidance from people who know the most about the software, and then ignore it.
The Debian build of OpenLDAP is old, links to a potentially insecure SSL implementation, and has a variety of known bugs present in it that are known to affect replication, particularly multi-master. Understand that by continuing to use the Debian package, you are essentially setting yourself up for failure when looking at using Multi-Master Replication.